23yearsoldandcounting!

My awesome friends created a blog to give me their best wishes! Sweetness to the max.

Check it out, if anyone out there still keepintouch with my blog. haha.

bneboy.blogspot.com

You guys are the best, seriously.

Probably, thats why I'm not enjoying myself here. Without you guys, without my sweet girlfriend.

It's easy to meet new people here. But I can safely say less than FIVE will stay in my life after I graduate.

TRUE friends are hard to get by here. I thought I had met a couple, just to be disappointed afterwards.

Is it about the money? (Yes, singaporeans here are RICH)

How much assets your family has?

What car are you driving here/back in singapore?

What business line does your family do?

Do you come from a well-known school?

How many 7s do you have?

It's sad, really.

I came overseas to study, is to meet more people, widen my horizons.

But first mistake, coming to uq, where 75% are singaporeans.

I don't think I have any aussie friends at all.

That's how sad it is.

It doesn't matter how you treat people.

If they don't reciprocate, they don't reciprocate.

There's nothing you can do about it.

You're always gonna be on your own.

Hard lesson learnt.

And that's why I say,

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!

Eh, probably second-best.

After Michelle.

=)

"Strong people know how to keep their life in order.

Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile.

Send this to a strong person. I just did."

Close friend of mine just sent me this message.

I smiled for a moment, but then stopped to think about it.

I felt undeserving of it.

I'm not strong.
I cringe and crumble under stress easily.

And start to emit my negative emotions.

How is this strong?

He's right, coming to think of it.

"It's hard to get a 4."

Well, I managed to get 2 of them.

How the hell can I get a 4 after a mid semester grade like that?

I would have to fail my final paper.

Which I did.
No need to call for a re-mark. I know it myself.

Summing all up.

Easily one of the worst GPA attained, if not the worst in the entire batch.

New semester.

I felt prepared.

But still.

Crumbled under pressure.

Stupid mistakes.

Forgetting important information.

Same story. Different day.

Always holding high expectations in whatever I start on.

Only to be hugely disappointing in the end. In everyone's eyes. In my own eyes.

Depressing

Emotionally drained.

I'm not smart. I know.

Someone told me so too.

I take a longer time to understand than others.

Probably double the time. Or even longer.

Just typed in a Google search, 'how to become smarter?'

You might think I'm a nutter.

But I'm desperate.

Desperate to turn things around.

Desperate to get things right for a change.

It's not working for me at the moment.

"Father, Father, Father. Send some guidance from above."

I'm at my crossroads.

Feeling. Feeling that I will never succeed in life.

- I am Me. It's just Me.

Did i make the right decision at that point in time?

I think i deserved to get laughed at, even though she didn't mean it.

At least others knew what they wanted.

Which is extra time to study.

And they got the results they desired.

But me?

I was contemplating, to go or not to go, until the very last moment.

So I thoroughly deserve the results that I've gotten.

And can blame no one about it.

I want to be optimistic.

Like a particular friend of mine.

Always looking forward to reading his tweets.

Full of optimism.

But I always fail myself.

Every time, and i mean, EVERY TIME whenever i encounter problems, i just break down.

I can never face it like a MAN.

Such a failure.

Disappointment to my family.

Disappointment to you.

Should never have came in the first place and wasted all my parents' money.

Pray and hope for a better semester.

Results are out.

Passed all.

Barely.

Don't compare,

don't compare..

Results epitomises hard work.

I just didn't study hard enough.

It's all my fault.

It's my fault that I left you on 140211.

It's my fault I can't be there when you need me.

It's my fault if i go out and enjoy myself here, while you have to stay at home.

It's my fault when i decided to travel, rather than go back sg.

IT'S MY FAULT that i decided to come to Australia in the first place.

It hurt me what you said today.

And I felt really disappointed and sad.

But still, i appreciate you telling me, so I can change.

I don't know how yet, but I will do my best.

For You. I will.

Today, you complained about my stagnant facebook wall, and yours. oops. =x

So i came online, and almost immediately, i came across this video, posted by my friend.

It's really sweet.

Touched my heart so much. Almost teared.

And I know you did. =)

You are right.

It was 5 years for them, what's 1.5 for us?

This is a test. A big test for us.

Which I think we can overcome.

Nobody said it's gonna be easy.

I truly believe we are going to learn to cherish each other at the end of this all.

And our relationship is only going to become stronger.

Don't you agree?

I can be insensitive at times.

I might be blur and act like a woodblock at times.

But,

at the end of the day,

I still love you.

I'm not perfect.

But without you,

I can never be.

♥

Baby, let's do the list yeah?

It's super sweet and cool! =D

Today.

Marks the start.

I need to change.

to be less emo.

Forget about what's happened.

Focus on what's gonna happen.

Work on my studies.

Work on us.

No more facebook.

It's the cause of the trouble and it's a waste of time.

I have no time.

No more parties, till after my exams.

I partied far too much.

I-WILL-STUDY-EVERYDAY. I-WILL-STUDY-EVERYDAY. I-WILL-STUDY-EVERYDAY.

I will hit the library everyday, if not i will still study at home.

My aim for now,

Banking 5/7.

Investments 6/7.

Cost Accounting 6/7.

Financial Reporting 7/7.

It's still makable. I can do this.

That will give me an overall 6.

Which is pretty darn awesome for my first semester.

Come on Scott.

Get your life back in order.

This is not being emo.

This is abt being determined.

to achieve your goals.

And most importantly,

get someone back.

get her back on my side.

Come on Scott.

You can do this shit.

Ican'taffordtoloseyou.

Blogging now.

When i should not.

When i don't even have enough time, to do my tuts, study for exams.

But i just wanna let it out a little.

Just got back my Cost Accounting mid-sem result which is 30% weightage.

21/30.

Simply means my high distinction of 7 is over for this subject.

As you will need a 85% and above to get a grade 7.

9% gone. Get what i mean?

Disappointed, but kinda expected after the exam.

It was considered my easier subjects out of the 4, so i was really looking to score.

Guess it was just not meant to be.

Next up, banking and lending decisions and Investment papers.

Struggling with Investments, and the textbook.

There are already so many formulaes and concepts in Chp 1.

6 Chapters for the mid-sem. 40% weightage.

While Banking on the other hand, has no textbook to refer to. And the tut exercise is always one long essay question.

How do you study for it?

I'm really struggling now.

It's only mid-semester.

I keep telling myself to do well.

But it's only the halfway mark.

And I'm struggling like mad.

Pls god. Pls.

Gimme the brains to study.

To remember what i studied.

And to apply what i studied.

Feeling damn frustrated today.
Hotmail got hacked, and they dont recognise my verification details.

I have sent them LOADS of information.

Folder names. Secret question. Contacts. Recent emails AND subjects. Password.

What else do they want?

I NEED my email back.

All my school materials are in it, important documents, VISA.

They really suck.

Guys. DO NOT use hotmail already.

It's time to change to a better one.
If not, a PAID and secured one.

Went to the library for about 5 hours today, hoping to get some tuts done.

BUT, I did not even complete half of the work im supposed to.

I feel so disappointed in myself.

Went for investments lecture after that.

And I couldn't understand half of it.

Feel like I have to eat my textbook or something.

I feel for the lecturer for the turnout(and those who left grim-faced halfway thru) of students.

But at the same time, i wonder, why can't he use simpler terms to get across his points?

Or is it impossible to do so?

Really have no idea.

I recorded a small part of his lecture and sent to Michelle.

She told me probably is just his slang.

Well, it makes it even tougher.

I kinda feel my target to do honours is slowly slipping away from my grasp.

Am I thinking too highly of myself? (Targeting a 7 for 2 subjects, and 6 for the other 2)

Or am I doing enough?

Am i doing my best?

How would you know that?

How would you know whether are you doing your best?

Just go do your tuts, Scott.

Fortunately, there's you.

To encourage me.

Writing this on the carpeted floor in my new home.

Finally gonna settle down after 2 weeks of looking for a place to stay.

Still don't really feel good though.

The house looks great on the outside, but the maintenance kinda suck.

There's quite a serious plumbing issue, with the water from the toilet coming out from a pipe in the garden.
Really disgusting.

The garden is in a mess, with flying bugs and insects all over the place.

Can't complain about this though, cause it's just summertime.

Anyways, school's began.

4 mods I'm taking.

Cost Accounting.

Financial Reporting.

Investment & Porfolio Management.

Banking and Lending Decisions.

I've attended 3 of the lectures already.

1 Aussie(I think.)

1 Chilean.

1 African.

Who's next?! China?! hahahaha!

But gosh. it's stressful.

It's only the first lecture, and the investment lecturer, the African, completed 74 slides! omg.

You can just see the look on everyone's faces.

But that's not all.

He gives his lecture, as if he's rapping! goodness.

I don't know whether it's the accent, or I just don't get what is he saying sometimes.
God pls help me.

There's this quite interesting thing for another module though.

Financial Reporting.

There are 3 quizzes for assessment, and they are open-book!

5% each!

And do during your own free time! Awesome?!

AND....

You can keep retrying, till u are satisfied with your results.

WHAT!

yes.

If you can 29/30, you can say NO.

Let's go again.

As many times as you want.

hahahaha. thats like the ONLY good news so far lah. hehe.

Housemates back with Hungry Jacks!

Catch ya soon mates!

Missingyou.

=)

its been 1 week in brisbane already.

Have i gotten used to life here?

hmmm...Well. i know my body hasn't.

Been a little too constipated, losing my usual appetite.

Just had an overnight laxative. Its in the form of a chocolate! LOL.

Hope it will work though..

I know i need to give u more attention.

I will do my best. I promise.

Pls give me some time. AND I NEED MY IPHONE.

Gosh. im damn unlucky, getting a crocked iphone when i bought it. sigh.

Fortunately, dearie's friends have really been awesome for the past 1 week, with her havin company almost everyday!

Really, really relieved to see her occupied with stuffs, and not let her mind wander too far off. =)

L-O-V-E.

FINALLY GOT MY NEW SKIN AND MY BLOG RUNNING AGAIN!!!! =D