I cant help thinking abt it.
I know i shouldnt. But the images just kept flooding my mind.
The test, esp. the swing trainer. I kept seeing myself clearing it. But y cant i??
I failed the real test yesterday. Damn disappointed.
Lookin at the ppl who passed, congratualting them, and can only look in envy as they collected their 'goodie bags'.
Tried to turn away everytime i see a guy carrying the stuffs, but just cant help hearing wads inside.
the white singlet, white polo t, the wristband rank, 3SG rank, track suit, and a pair of mizuno court shoes.
Some goodie bag yea? haha. and now its just 52mins away from my grasp. Perhaps for me, its just a 'monkey bar' obstacle away.
I really want this. I dun tink i have done my parents too proud in my life so far, initially in BMT thought that i could be an officer, and that could be something. But didnt make the cut in the end.
Went to sispec for the basic section leader course instead, and the pti course came by. I went for the selection, and here i am now. Probably the next best thing besides being an officer, and do my parents a little proud.

I must make it, no matter what. Hopefully on Tuesday. C'mon! C'mon!! C'mon!!!!

Not been myself probably for the past 2 weeks, due to the tests. Failing one after another.
I kept telling myself i can do this. But results just dont show likewise. Im nowhere close to passing my cpft, struggling with the swing trainer. Worst still, i failed my ippt this week, twice. my sbj just hit free falling state these few weeks, and i dunno wads wrong. Different mates looked at my jump, and all are telling me different stuffs. Whats happening?! Really desperate times now with so little time left to passing out. Just 4 more weeks. Excluding the last week for parade rehearsal, just 3 weeks left provided i even make it to the parade. haiz. i tink i really hit a wall this time and dont have the slightest idea of gettin round it. the sight of seeing ppl improving while im going the other direction is just too much for me.
Sum it off, newcastle lost again. i know.

Guess i need a miracle from somewhere..

This past week i think has been the most xiong in the pti course.And also the most down and disappointing for me.
I managed to pass my SOC the last time right on the dot 8mins59sec. But this time round, i even failed the swing trainer obstacle, and my timing was 10m44s. abt 2mins deprovement. DAMN.
After the test, bcoz of our lousy no. of passes, we gotta do the obstacles over and over again for 6 times. It was damn shag. No kiddin.
"PRESS ON!!!" our course commander kept shouting.
Thats only one event. Throughout the week, we also had speed trg, circuit trg, weights trg, and top it off, b4 we booked out, one last whack on our body by the instructors for abt 30mins i think.
When i woke up this mornin, i swear to god man. My body wasnt mine. LOL. seriously. I had trouble gettin up la!!
Haiz. But thats not all.
We had assignments to do over the weekends.
One is to get a National coaching cert. Gotta come up with a year training schedule for a athelete on a sport of your choice. Sounds really interesting eh? But damn tedious project. And damn difficult to pass.
Another one is coming up with lesson plans for our teaching tests. We gotta teach particular stuffs for swimming, weights, soc, different trainings. Each exercise = 1 lesson plan. Thats like ALOT la. Nvr tell us earlier. Teach us this week, next week starts. Crazy man.
To top it all off, on monday is another SOC test + SOC endurance training. WAH. Den next week first FBO SOC.
Need I say more? =(

Scotty's goin' crazy...

Haiz...

Been watching football for over 10 years now.
Started out supportin everyone's favourite winning team, Man u.
Switched to Newcastle only during my secondary sch days, because of their playing style, culture, the loyal supporters and of coz Shay Given and Alan Shearer. Ever since then, close friends kept makin fun of me, tellin me what a lousy football club it is. But i didnt bother. I wanna be one of those 50,000+ supporters supporting them week in week out even if they lost. I wanna be part of the atmosphere at st james park.
And u know what, i got my dream just last yr. I actually caught a match LIVE at st james park. Against the club i supported as a young boy, man u. Although Newcastle lost 5-1, I didn't care abt the result. I was just glad to be there, proud to be supporting my favourite club. I even bought 2 jerseys, one home team, and another a Shay Given jersey. I was just so damn ecstatic, and just wanted to savour every single second there.
Now, with the club derailed with problem after problem this season, i was really disappointed and felt really sad. I was really upset when Given left, that I told myself I will not watch anymore of their matches for the rest of this season.
But 2day, I watched them play. The 2nd half against Arsenal. They had to win. Already in the relegation zone, they HAD to win. But they sucked. They are going down, for sure. Is it really cursed when I bought the Given jersey, he left immediately the next season? I really hate myself for supporting them now, they suck! Why the hell i supported them in the 1st place? fcukin suck to the core. I feel sick when i see them play. If they get relegated, they deserve it fully. Not by luck, but their own doing. Its just torturing to see them play. In fact, i hope they go down, so they will learn their fcukin lesson and rebuild with a new manager. Totally lost all faith in them and for once embarrassing to be a supporter of Newcastle United.

Finally managed to stop procrastinating and change the song..haha.
I know its like a freakin old song, but i just got to hear it like few months ago. Slow right? damn.
Anyway, better late than never. I love the part where the song turns rock style. Just turns me on. haha. And i wanna learn the guitar chords for this also la. damn damn nice. Enjoy! ~

When I see your smile, Tears roll down my face
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay, It's okay, It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Seasons are changing, And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning grey! (grey! grey! )

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven! (continues until fades out)

1 mth down, 2 more to go!!

Yeaps. 2 more mths to officially becoming a PTI! haha. Really hope i dun Out.Of.Course man. I think i will totally break down.
Spent quite a lot of time in the pool this past week, learning aqua jogging, simply jogging in water. Seriously. haha. Trust me, its not as easy as it looks. LOL.
Fact: Aqua jogging in the pool for 1km is equvilent to 5km on land! Ratio 1:5! Crazy rite? im not gonna run anymore. hahaha. We also started to swim in our uniform w/o boots. I feel like every stroke i take, im being pushed back by the water. Freakin uniform damn heavy. We also managed to try our first jump off the 3m board! Haha.
Gotta cut down on drinking! 3 weekends straight le! Damn. =)